Whoa boy...

This is intended to be a historically accurate account of Spc. McFlute's journey to "The Band."
I will chronicle the earlier days of this quest at a later date, but for now I have to skip straight to the present (by way of the past) to explain why Spc. McFlute is, at this very moment, in the kitchen washing dishes, rather than a minimum security, hard labor, basic training facility.

Essentially, this is Al Gore's fault.

If he hadn't invented the internet (internets?) it would not be possible to transmit digital fingerprints through virtual tubes from the Due Process Facility to the Federal Underwear Drawer of Investigation. Apparently, Spc. McFlute's fingerprints don't translate to the digital medium very well and the Bureau has rejected them twice. Somehow, SFC Recruiter-Lackeye found a hidden process that he wasn't aware of before (we assume that this discovery was made concurrent to a stern phone call from "The Band") and was able to waive the fingerprint requirement, pending completion of an INT, or, in civiliian language, an interview. INT passed, waiver granted, Spc. McFlute says an emotional goodbye to her knight in shining armor, and then to Mr. Spc. McFlute, and heads to the hotel to await her sentencing...errr...shipping. All is as right with the world as it could be at a time like this.

As morning dawns (actually, well before dawn) we find our heroine in the first of many lines. She is called out and told that though the waiver had been granted, the inmates at the Due Process Facility neglected to fax them to the varous offices to collect whatever documentation the Pharisees and Levites require for these kinds of things. Having been properly not chastised at all (who could really expect folks to functon within the role that they have been assigned?), Spc. McFlute was forced to sit in hard labor for over 5 years (hours) before Mr Spc. McFlute was able to intervene with SFC Recruiter-Boss and have her retrieved. Coincidentally, the forms that should have been processed yesterday arrived as Spc. McFlute was getting up to leave. There was much rejoicing (for in the Due Processing Facility even the smallest and worst timed successes are reason to celebrate). In the spirit of good cheer, SFC Recruiter-Boss waived the hotel requirement.
And that is how Spc. McFlute came to be washing dishes at home, rather than at a minimum security, hard labor, basic training facility.
We will drive down to the It's About Dang Time Due Process Facility in the morning for a second try before most of you wake up, unless you are in Africa.

Cross your fingers...