20090412

...You start walking mine.

Well, no sooner (than 4 days after) I complained that I wasn't hearing from Spc. McFlute, here came a giant pile of two envelopes containing letters written over the course of Mar 30-April 4. It was a relief to hear first hand (written) that things continue to be just fine, considering.
I have several answers to prayer to share with you:
  1. Spc. McFlute's colleagues (and I assume her superiors, but there is no mention of that in the text) have noticed her overall good attitude and have been encouraged by it. A big concern going into IET was that Spc. McFlute's considerable joy would be drained from her. It is great to hear that not only does she have enough joy (or something like it) for herself, but has enough for it to shine through to those around her.
  2. Spc. McFlute's sleeping has evened out, except when she has "fireguard." Fireguard means that you either stay up late, get up early, or are awakened in the middle of the night to do your laundry and make sure there is not a fire. I believe that there is also an element of making sure that people are where they are supposed to be (asleep!!), but the main objective is to get your laundry done. As you can imagine, fireguard interferes with normal sleep patterns. Except for this, Spc. McFlute is sleeping.
  3. One of Spc. McFlute's biggest concerns before departing and especially after arriving was the nature of the self-esteem improvement program (SEIP) participant assigned to train on her platoon. It seemed that most of the SEIP participants were in pretty bad shape and did their best to make even the most joyful activities (petting bunnies) tedious and annoying at best, and intolerable at medium-est. Spc. McFlute has been fortunate to be assigned SEIP participants who have evidently already undergone some training. Her platoon is still worked hard, but not abused like some of the others have been.
Along those same lines, some of the SEIP participants who are not very far into the training have not perfected the art of yelling. They say things that are...sad, and Spc. McFlute has, more than once, found it difficult to refrain from laughing at their general state of pathetic-ness. It is good that she has restrained herself, because unauthorized laughter (laughter has yet to be authorized in the Army) generally results in "smokings." Not the pleasant kind with cigars and pipes. In the Army there is no pleasure, and thus no cigars.
In the Army "smokings" refer to punishments doled out for various offences, inoffences, accomplishments, failures...in other words at the whim of the overly-emotional SEIP participant. One such smoking was issued because the platoon failed to be made up entirely of men (I think I am making that up).
The coed platoon was made to run up and down a hill with their laundry bags held above their heads. This was moving day, so the laundry bags were filled with all of the earthly possessions of the recruits, as far as the Army was concerned. Upon completion of this smoking, the platoon was made to repeat the task because it would, and I don't quote, "Make men out of you." This punishment was issued by a female participant in the SEIP.
By far, the favorite smoking activity, as of one week and one day ago, was to have the platoon assume the "frontal rest position" and hold it for a period of time. To me, as to those of you who, like me, posses a fairly lucid mind, this conjures up images crawling into bed on one's stomach. However, I failed to take into account that there are few lucid minds in the Army. To the Army, the "frontal rest position" means that you assume the push-up position, but instead of doing push-ups you hold the position. A push-up-fake-out, if you will. Still, it doesn't sound so bad.

Whoa.

Just tried it.

That was the worst four seconds of my life.

Just kidding.
I held it for a minute.
Not pleasant.

At any rate, Spc. McFlute's SEIP participants seem to be making efforts to reciprocally educate the recruits, rather than simply leaching their own self-esteem healing like the others seem to. Answer to prayer.

Spc. McFlute completed several of the biggies that she will have to face during the week that she wrote about. One was the Victory Tower. This is basically a tower that has several "ropes courses" attached to it. Sounds like fun to me. I didn't think it was the kind of thing that would appeal to Spc. McFlute, but she wrote that it was, for the most part....
FUN!
Google "victory tower" and you should get a better idea of exactly what it is. Your opinion of Spc. McFlute may also change slightly.
Spc. McFlute said she had a little bit of trouble starting off on the "rope slide" (my term). You lay down headfirst on top of a rope that is sloping down. You hook one ankle over the rope behind you with your knee extended below the rope. Your other leg hangs freely and you pull yourself hand-over-hand down the rope. There is a big net below you, but it is WAY below you, and there is not a convenient way to get back to the top. Needless to say, Spc. McFlute was not interested in having to repeat this obstacle. She claimed to have been a little nervous as she got into position (I don't believe it...she has ice water running through her veins), but was able to focus and complete her task. She was pretty proud of herself at the bottom.
Spc. McFlute's platoon also ran a ground-based obstacle course that Spc. McFlute described as "fun for now, but probably won't be when we have to do it 10 times in a row."
She was also issued her M16A2, AKA her "weapon" (NOT "gun"). More on that later, I'm sure.

Over the past week (which I have no information on at this time) she was scheduled to go through the gas chamber. I trust that she and most of her platoon came out without their lunch, but were otherwise unharmed.

I'm sure that most of you are aware that April 15, the day when we all render unto Caesar...I mean Barack, is rapidly approaching. I approach this day with both excitement, and a lot of resentment. Resentment because I am sure that I could have allocated the money that I am instead forced to render (to pay my own wife's salary...how do you like that?!?) in a much more useful way than it will be used by those whose to whom we have foolishly entrusted it.
I am excited because it should (knock, bang, beat, stomp, etc. on wood...this is the military we are talking about) be Spc. McFlute's first payday. It is also possible that I will received a letter from the aforementioned Specialist.

Speaking of letters, Spc. McFlute has received an avalanche of them from a number of you. She wants me to share her appreciation and apologies that she isn't able to write back more thoroughly or quickly. She also wants me to communicate that she hasn't been smoked for getting too many letters, but the SEIP participant in charge of Spc. McFlute's platoon has enjoyed frisbeeing any cards that she has received in her general direction. I'm not sure what that means, but if he's looking for a fight, I'll be there in 52 days, so one of us better start working out...

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